“The bad news is time flies, the good news is you’re the pilot” -Michael Althsuler
It feels like time is always going.. Especially as a mom x2 (a working mom at that), a small business owner x2, and fiance, time gets cut short SIGNIFICANTLY.
*signature “I’m gonna lose it” face* It’s ugly… but I also don’t care. 🙂
Thankfully, I learned something in college that I carried into motherhood that not only bought me more time back, it also helped me create more home life harmony. I get that life is filled with various things you can’t control, off days and off weeks, and moments where you feel like all you’re doing is surviving. This practice won’t completely rid you off moments like that, but it will aid in mitigating those moments significantly. You’ll still have days where you fall flat on your face but you’ll begin to get back up a lot quicker than you had before (resilience).
I want you to begin to create more peace and time for yourself despite those moments, how many hats you wear and whatever life tries to throw your way. This practice will be the first of many that I’ll be sharing on my blog so be sure to turn on post notifications on IG and join my email community so you don’t miss out on all of the elevation tips and growth tactics coming!
These practices have helped me to heal, take care of myself, and live a life that I desire and deserve and I pray that they will do the same for you!
Although I learned this practice in college, it didn’t click immediately when I became a mother. Why? Two words, “mom brain”.
When I think back to when I became a mom in 2016, I remember looking at my then newborn, Isaac, in my first tinie tiny apartment, thinking… how am I gonna do this.
2016 Ki at her favorite place (Target) with newborn Isaac – Running on fumes
It was just me (Isaacs dad and I were on and off until we were just off lol) and I had never done this before. I wasn’t too sure of how to do it all but I did know that I wasn’t going to be another single mom statistic and I didn’t wanna be a cluster flipping hot mess with it. I’m talking messy home, barely taking care of myself, late for everything, and feeling like my home was in complete chaos.
I saw how functioning like that was becoming the norm for families. It was almost normalized, like no, its okay to live in a sh*t hole house, in total chaos, because everyone is!
Before I go on, I want to clarify that perfection was not and is not my goal. Peace and stability was/is my goal. Peace, harmony, family, fulfillment, joy, and generational wealth – that’s what I wanted. I knew that I wouldn’t achieve that functioning how my family and so many other families were in this chaotic cycle.
What happened here was a personal reflection of patterns that weren’t serving so many others and that wouldn’t serve me. I had a realization and then, I slowly began to create change with hopes of breaking the chaotic cycle.
I started to take care of a part of myself that didn’t exist quite yet. I knew though, that by taking care of this part of myself I would invite more peace, structure, and time back into my life.
I started taking care of future me. FUTURE SELF CARE. (see below what future self care did for me in the long run)
Left: 1 month postpartum, living in first apartment (low income housing), no job, no car, maybe $30 to my name, lost mentally and spiritually, low confidence, still healing from self hate, in an abusive relationship, dealing with postpartum depression and anxiety Right: 27 months postpartum ( with second son), bought my first home by myself, 6 year Army NCO, bought my second vehicle (big mama pick up), many bank accounts that are flourishing, 2 growing small businesses, mentally at a healthy and self accountable space, strong spiritual relationship, healthy and loving relationships, more in love with life than I’ve ever been.
What is future self care(FSC)?
I remember being introduced to this life changing idea by my graphic design college professor, Meena Khalili. I looked up to her so much, and anything she said I was gonna run with. But this, this changed how I went about life. I planned ahead in a way that created more safety and certainty for myself.
Future self care is nothing more than doing something in the present that your future self will thank you for, but in the short term sense.
We practice long term future self care all of the time. That looks like,
Getting an education
Going to college or trade school
Working at a certain performance level for a raise
Snowballing your debt
These are things that, over time, our future self will thank us for. Short term future self care (STFS), we get to experience the benefits a lot sooner. STFS looks like,
Planning meals for you and your family for the week (PLANNING, not cooking it all in one day. You can do that but that’s not a reality for most)
Prepping the ingredients for tomorrow’s dinner the night before
Prepping clothes for yourself and your kids for the week (with room for choice making for the littles)
Prepping out everyone’s lunch the day before
Making sure your kids nap at a certain time so they stay on their bedtime schedule
Taking care of Sunday chores so you’re not playing catch up all week
Laying out your activewear and outfit the night before
Setting your coffee pot to brew at 6am
Leaving a reminder sticky note on your front door so you remember something specific
What’re the benefits of FSC
It barely ever feels like it in the moment, but by doing these things, we start to create more time. Just think about future you in the morning.
Future you at 5/6am already has the incredible feat of trying to get out of bed on time. Now throw in making breakfast and lunch, picking out clothes, staging bookbags/workbags, and Lord knows what else… feels heavy huh?
Now imagine waking up knowing everything is already laid out. All you have to do is wake up, do hygiene, get dressed (clothes are already laid out), grab your coffee that’s already prepared because you set the timer the night before, and get the day going.
THAT’S peace. That’s happiness. That’s self care. That’s more time that you bought yourself by saying no to procrastination and overthinking and saying YES to future self care.
You got this, boo. Trust me when I tell you I know how frustrating it can be when you’re just starting. I can promise you it will pay off
Don’t overthink this one, love. Think about all of the things you’d like to have prepped and ready and create a plan to prep them out one-two days out of the week. I already listed a couple but everyone’s life looks different. Maybe you have fur babies in the mix, or are expecting your first bundle! Whatever your life looks like, future self care will serve you, your family, and the life you desire as your higher self.
I wanna know if this was helpful!
What are some key points you took away and how will you begin practicing future self care?
I’m here to help you live life as your happiest and highest self so I would LOVE to know if my content is helping you do that!
Please share this blog to your social spaces and if you want to work with me more, I would love for you to join the ALIGNED AF(and focused) 30 Day Challenge starting March 1!
Love & Light